Personal

I had an awful, stressful weekend

It has been a very long time since I last wrote a personal update related post. And seeing as something terrible happened last Friday night that got me occupied the entire weekend. And I also kinda need to write it off, so here goes.

I was streaming a horror/survival game called Maid of Sker on my Twitch channel. I was just about to set up the raid and had picked a raid target, but as I still had about 2 minutes left of the stream, my phone rang. It was my granddad. He never calls at that hour (as it was almost 10 pm) and never with his phone. It meant something had happened. Yet I hoped it was simply because they had an energy short circuit problem, of some kind. Yet, that wasn’t true. So, I apologised to my viewers, turned my microphone off and answered the phone. He told me I shouldn’t get scared. But that’s the worst thing to say, ever. Because I got scared the second he said that.

He told me that my grandma, his wife, was on her way to the hospital per ambulance. She had a seizure. A seizure? Wait, that’s what Cameron Boyce died from in his sleep… No way my own granny, the one who’s always doing everything for me and my family, has that right now. There’s no way. So, I quickly turned off the stream and started the raid without giving any further explanation. I immediately called the only person I could call in these times: my gay best friend. I was trembling, my legs felt heavy, but hearing his voice helped. In a way.

We had to wait all evening up until midnight until my gramps had a new update. They kept her in a ‘coma’ to help her calm down. They have her oxygen and said they’d scan her tomorrow (Saturday). So, I went into a night without sleeping, tossing and turning in my bed. Listened to heavy metal to try and fall asleep, watched YouTube videos, nothing worked. And so, the next morning, I was very exhausted.

I told my mum that we were gonna see my gramps. He wasn’t allowed to see his own wife for longer than 2 hours, only once a day. And we weren’t allowed near her neither. Stupid covid. Other hospitals are way less strict, but this hospital acted ridiculous. Moreover because my grandparents and mother are both vaccinated twice. I mean, not letting me in makes sense. But her own husband, come the f on. Anyway, when we arrived at his house, I hugged him, and he cried. And I hugged him tighter. When we sat down, he explained that there was foam coming out of her mouth the night before, her arms went everywhere. They had to keep her down with five men, it was that bad. They even asking my gramps if she wanted to get CPR, and that scared him even more. Though, it luckily (thank god) wasn’t necessary in the end.

So, the other days went by in a blur. Not much sleep, nothing but stress and worries, and not much of an appetite. We learned that a scan showed there was something in her head, presumably a tumor. She’d need to have a surgery, maybe chemo. And that turned our world upside down. She’s 82, turning 83 this year, would she survive such a thing? Then again, would she survive another seizure? She barely survived this one. My gramps thought he had lost her. He also thought it came from her dementia, which she doesn’t seem to have, according to the latest tests.

So, yesterday (Tuesday), she’d have another scan. Was it really a malicious tumor? My gramps called and said he had to go to the hospital at 3 pm. And he, (me too) thought that it was gonna be bad news. My mother and I went to watch an episode to get our minds off it, and right after it ended, he called again. Said she could go home. And that was before the talk even happened. We were confused. Were they pranking us? Were they just gonna discharge her and not care? But, we made an appointment with my gramps to surprise my granny, and so my mum and I went to the flower shop, bought her a bouquet and drove to their home.

We have their spare keys, and my gramps knew, so we weren’t breaking-in. We put the flowers in a vase, set it right in the middle of the living room so it’d be the first thing she’d see and waited upon their arrival, for about 2,5 hours. When they finally came home, my granny cried when she saw us. We hugged her. And my gramps cried too as I hugged him. He loves his wife so much, it’s incredible how much she does, same for my granny. They’ve been married for 60 years (61 this year) and are inseparable. In any case, the thing in her brain, not even in her brain, but between that and her head (hard to explain), is a benign tumor. They weren’t gonna remove it by surgery, but are gonna try to keep it from growing with medication. And they said that she doesn’t have dementia. After spending about an hour, we went back home. It was an awful weekend, and I’m still recovering from it. So is my entire family, my grandparents more than anyone else.

New update: this morning we learned that she’ll need to have the surgery. It’s risky, for someone her age. But not doing it, means complications in the foreseen future and a growth of the tumor…

Love, Deem/Skye Lewis ❀

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