My friend Thomas started dating recently. And as he’s in his thirties, he realised it’s a whole other level of dating than being in your twenties. So, he’s here today to share his thoughts, feelings, and tips with his fellow people of age!
- What are you looking for?
You probably don’t feel like experiencing a lot of failed dates, so it’s useful to clarify exactly what you’re looking for in a partner. Take a look at all the relationships and dates you’ve had in the past and write down which qualities you find attractive and which ones don’t suit you. Try to focus your attention on the positive qualities you’re looking for. You attract what you focus your attention on.
You probably don’t feel like getting emotionally attached to someone who could never give you all the love you deserve. It’s therefore best to immediately clarify what you expect or what you’d like in a relationship in the future (marriage, children, travelling). At the same time, try to figure out what the other person is looking for in a relationship and what his or her goals are.
3. Don’t judge
Maybe you never liked bald men or men with a beard in the past, or women with a bit/small booty or boobs, but if the inside appeals to you, give them a chance. You step outside your comfort zone, but this ultimately allows you to grow as a person.
4. Don’t put too much pressure
Perhaps you’re surrounded by friends who’re in a relationship, are married, and/or have or will have children. Don’t let this guide you too much. Your time will come or maybe you’ll plan your future just a little differently. That’s totally fine too. Sometimes your environment can unconsciously exert a lot of pressure on you. Love comes when you’re ready and apparently, that moment hasn’t come for you yet.
5. No rules
Often things are said like: ‘never be too clingy on a first date’ or ‘let them be the first to message after the date’. You set your own rules and do what you feel comfortable with. You don’t have to worry about what others think.
Humans are social creatures and love contact. Partly due to social media, many people have become a bit more uncomfortable in having real conversations and being amongst people. This often requires some self-confidence. So, it’s never wrong to write down which characteristics of yourself you like the most. Also, ask your friends what they like about you. This’ll definitely boost your confidence.
7. New offline contacts
If you want, you can make contact anywhere. Whether this is at your favourite coffee shop, at the aeroport, or in the supermarket. You never know who you’ll bump into and what consequences this encounter will have.
Always listen to your gut. Your environment can find that one man or woman a suitable partner for you. If you don’t feel this way yourself, that’s a clear signal. Sometimes you like someone when you know that this person will probably hurt you. And whatever you do or don’t do: never doubt your gut feeling.
Love, Skye Lewis ❤
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