There are always periods in a relationship that are more difficult than other times. Could be for many reasons, but these are the most common problems in a relationship. And of course, with solutions too!
Maybe you and your partner talk about everything (children, hobbies, and friends), but there’s little talk about emotions. You feel that the relationship is superficial and would prefer to have deeper conversations with your partner. For example, you can have the feeling of being alone, while you’re sitting together on the couch. This problem can cause confusion. You know your partner loves you, but sometimes you don’t quite feel it. Always try to discuss these feelings and if this doesn’t work, it’s smart to call in professional help.
2. Express your needs
Some people aren’t used to expressing their feelings and wishes. Maybe your feelings used to be suppressed and you unconsciously think that your feelings don’t matter that much. Because you don’t express your feelings, you don’t know what your needs (in a relationship) are. There’s a good chance that your partner also doesn’t know what your needs are and this creates distance. A difficult situation, where it can help to talk to others or find out what things used to make you happy. Try new things both together and alone.
3. Don’t show yourself
It may also be the case that you show a certain part of yourself and keep another (large) part for yourself. You may be afraid of getting hurt and therefore focus completely on the feelings and emotions of others. You’ll have to work on dismantling that proverbial wall that you have built around you. Write things down, talk to people you know well and, if necessary, hire a professional.
4. Don’t talk about hard things
You find it difficult to discuss difficult and important topics. This makes you tense and/or nervous. Talking about problems makes your relationship stronger. Check with yourself whether you often avoid difficulties and talk about this with your partner. How can you break this pattern together? For example, agree with your partner that he or she will say it if you withdraw or seem to avoid topics.
5. Passive attitude
If an argument arises between you and your partner, withdraw and/or adopt a passive attitude. You’re afraid that your relationship is in danger and you’re shocked by the emotions that your partner is showing. This while quarrels in a relationship are normal and even good. Your emotional intimacy will increase because of this. It can help to talk to a professional and find out why you often avoid conflict. Where does this behaviour come from and how can you change it in the future? Also, involve your partner in this process.
Love, Skye Lewis ❤
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