There are things that should receive question marks rather than being considered normal. Are you crazy about your partner, but does your relationship sometimes feel oppressive without knowing why? Here are some subtle signals that can be a red flag in a relationship!
- Continuous messages when not together
Your partner is so crazy about you that they prefer to be with you 24/7. Sounds sweet, maybe. But if you get a continuous stream of messages every time you go out with friends or family, maybe it’s to keep an eye on you and not to see how you’re doing. It’s okay not to always be in touch: you’ll talk to each other later.
2. ‘But I love you’ excuse
Are you and your partner clashing because they react (extremely) jealous? Do they use ‘but I’m doing this because I love you so much’ as an excuse? Then the alarm bells should go off. Your partner isn’t doing this out of love, but out of manipulation. Bad behaviour can’t be justified with this ‘excuse.’
3. They’re ‘worried’ about you
Are the messages becoming more compelling in tone if you don’t let yourself be heard for a while? Or do you get a call from your loved one five times when you’re gone? There’s a difference between worrying and being controlling. Through the many messages and a worried call, your partner pretends they care so much, but in reality, you’re manipulated into paying attention to their wishes and whims.
4. They can’t live without you
You’re not able to live without each other and you hear the ‘I’m going to die if I am no longer with you,’ sentence almost every day. The latter isn’t romantic, but a signal that you have ended up in an unhealthy situation. Emotional abusers use this to keep you in a relationship you want to get out of. By playing on fear and guilt – you don’t want your partner to take their own life – you’re manipulated into staying.
5. Suggestions that are ‘good for you’
After an argument with a close friend or relative, your partner suggests that you should distance yourself. Or maybe you feel more comfortable in your own skin if you lose a few kilos. And your work? With their tips, you’ll probably do better. Don’t be influenced by advice and suggestions from someone else, even if it’s your partner. It may be their way of exercising control over you, while you’re perfectly capable of making your own choices.
Love, Skye Lewis ❤
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