Personal

I’m gonna miss you, dear nephew

I want to give a trigger warning up ahead. I know some people require that so, here’s the one time trigger warning that this post is gonna mention animal death.

I remember the first time my aunt and uncle brought you home with them. You lived with a different family, but they abused you. They got you out of there and had to find a new home for you. And so, you lived with my aunt and uncle. It was love at first sight when I first met you. You were pretty tiny back then, and wouldn’t get much bigger as your breed (a mixture of a shih tzu and pekingese) doesn’t get that big. You had white fur, a brown nose and eyes, a cute fluffy tail and were the sweetest dog I had ever met.

Today, at the age of 16, they’re gonna end your misery. You had heart problems your entire life, yet you were strong enough to reach the age of 16. Now, you’re practically blind and deaf, you can’t walk anymore, pee everywhere, but aren’t in pain. And even though you may not be in pain, it’d be cruel to keep you alive with the way your body doesn’t support you anymore. It pains me that this has to happen, for we had to put down my first cat too. I never thought I’d have to live through this again so quickly.

I remember the first day we played together. I was only 8 when I first met you, and that’s when our first photo together was made, still hanging in my home. We instantly connected. I went on my first walk with you, had never walked a dog before. And there you were, giving me my first memory of how to walk a dog. You were very strong, almost pulled me over, which was surprising for a small dog. But I loved calling your name and helping you listen when to stop and when you could walk on.

I remember the day you had an attack, caused by your heart. I said in the back with you of my granddad’s car, and I panicked. We pulled over near the hospital to check you out. And once you were back with us, after your seizure, I held you on my lap the entire time home. I calmed you down, you calmed me down, and all was good. Medication made the seizures go away for the last several years, but other problems surfaced as you grew older. I knew it was gonna happen one day, but kept hoping it wouldn’t. Until last Thursday, when my uncle called me they were gonna put you out of your misery on Monday, today. And knowing I loved you, they told us so I had a chance to say goodbye to you.

At 2 O’clock you’ll be gone, cremated. Nothing will be left of you, only my memories and photos of us together. I was glad I could see you one last time on Friday, holding you in my lap like I used to, kissing you all over, calming you down, telling you I love you. And will love you until the day I die. I’m proud of you, dear nephew. I’m glad I knew you, I’m glad I had a bond with you. Each time you saw me, your tail wagged so hard, you were so excited that you began trembling because of it. I had never seen an animal so excited each time we met, and it made me excited to see you.

Dear good boy, I’m gonna miss you dearly. I can’t phantom the fact that you’ll be gone today. I wrote this earlier on, but when this article goes live, you’ll be gone within hours. I wish your body would help you on its own, for I still believe this is considered murder, even though we’re doing you a favour. I’ll never stop believing this isn’t murder. I know it isn’t, but my mind won’t allow the truth. Farewell, dear. Wherever you’ll go, I hope that you’ll have lots of treats up there, for you loved eating food. And I hope you’ll be able to run around freely like you loved to do with me, running like there was no tomorrow.

I love you. Now, yesterday, tomorrow, forever. Always.

Love, Deem/Skye Lewis ❤

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